Holdin' It All Together: October 2013

Disabilities

I was perusing Facebook this morning waiting my turn for the shower, and between all the drama, classified posts and recipes a status update caught my eye. It read:

"With Halloween upon us, please keep in mind, a lot of little people will be visiting your home. Be accepting. the child who is grabbing more than one piece of candy may have poor fine motor skills. the child who takes forever to pick out one piece of candy may have motor planning issues. The child who does not say trick or treat or thank you may be non-verbal. The child who looks disappointed when they see your bowl might have an allergy. the child who isn't wearing a costume at all might have a sensory issue (SPD) or autism. Be nice. Be patient. Its everyone's Halloween!"

Until a year and a half ago when we got our sweet angels placed with us, I would have probably shrugged this post off and went on to swoon over the next pumpkin recipe. But, my youngest angel has changed my way of thinking in so many ways. Before he was placed with us I knew he had Torticollis, which is a tightening in the neck muscles. No biggie, we do some physical therapy and he will be fine. It didn't take me long to realize we were dealing with more than a tilt in his head. His whole body was tight and rigid. To make a long story short, we have been to a Pediatric Developmental Specialist who has ruled out Cerebral Palsy. While that is a weight lifted, it also left us scratching our heads. My baby angel could not sit up until he was almost a year old. His muscles were so tight they just wouldn't allow him to bend that way. Now he walks (and runs!) but we are left dealing with sensory issues now. He has Hyposensitivity issues and delays in fine motor that we do Occupational Therapy for. He doesn't have much contact with other kids his age other than his brother, but my cousin was visiting a couple weeks ago with her daughter who is close in age. It was hard for me to let him play with her because he is so rough (part of the sensory issues) and she didn't understand why. I don't want people to judge him. In retrospect, a year and a half ago, I would have been the other parent judging and that is a hard pill to swallow. I want to help educate people and spread acceptance for these sweet souls.

It's not our disabilities, it's our abilities that count.

Chris Burke

It's not our disabilities, it's our abilities that count.

Chris Burke

A word on fostering

Nine times out of ten, when someone learns that we are foster parents, the first thing out of their mouth is "I could never do that, I would get too attached and not want to give them back". While I know what they are saying, I find it hard to no feel as though they think I am cold hearted and don't have a problem sending these children back when the time comes.

Fostering has its highs and lows. One day you think you have it all together, you are juggling parent visits, meetings with case workers, therapy and the next day you are just praying that you have not messed this kid up worse then when he came to you. Then, sometimes, you get a message from a child that has left your home saying "I miss and love you" and at that moment in time, it all makes sense.

We also hope to teach our own children to appreciate what they have because there are so many kids that would kill for what we take for granted. Some don't even understand what it means to be married, or be part of a family. I think it is safe to say that we have learned more from fostering than we have taught the kids we have had.

I understand that being a foster parent isn't for everyone, but in the words of Mother Teresa:

When we judge others we leave no room to love them.

One Big Happy Family

Allow me to introduce you to my family. This is our oldest, he just turned 17 and it seems like yesterday I was bringing him home from the hospital and now he has grown into this handsome young man. I cherish what little time I have left with him at the house because I am painfully aware that if I blink, he is going to be off at college and not here every day.

Next, is this beautiful young lady. She turned 14 in September. She is growing up to be quite a young lady. It is very interesting watching her come into her own. She is figuring out people and where she wants to "fit". Unlike her brother, she is very social and I fear that when she turns 16 and starts to drive I will never see her. So, I hold onto every second I have with her in the meantime.

Then there is my oldest step-son. He is also 14. He is such a great kid. He has matured so much over the past year it is unbelievable. He has such a kind heart. He loves to skateboard and be outside. I would do anything for this kid.

This is the youngest of the step-children. She is 13 years old. She is our active one. She is currently in competitive cheer, cross country and a cheerleader at school. She is very determined and does not let anything get in the way of achieving a goal.

And then there are the two foster children. C-man and Peanut. We have had them since April 2012. C-man was 13 months and Peanut was 6 weeks. We are not allowed to post pictures of them until we adopt the so you will have to wait on those. That day should be within the next year.

Holdin' It All Together

Disabilities

A word on fostering

One Big Happy Family

What Have I Got Myself Into Now?

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